Just You Wait

From the archives: 10/29/20

When I was pregnant, my lead emotion was fear.

I was terrified.

Of a lot of things.

I was afraid of losing my independence.

I was afraid of being a bad mom.

I was afraid of getting post-partum depression.

I was afraid I would be seen as less competent at work.

I was afraid that my work wouldn’t be supportive.

I was afraid that I would never sleep again.

Not really, but I was afraid I wouldn’t get enough sleep for at least 5 years.

And honestly, people didn’t really help with that.

It’s a funny thing, but a lot of parents like to highlight the hard parts to expecting moms.

I got so many comments like, “just wait, you’ll never get any sleep once baby comes”.

“Go do the fun things now, because you can’t do that with kids.”

“Oh the baby part is easy, just wait until they can talk back.”

I could go on.

If you are or are soon-to-be a mom, I’m sure you could tick off your own lengthy list as well.

But I can count on one hand the number of women who told me how wonderful it would be.

I can tell you the first time a mother told me that birthing my baby would be okay, that it didn’t have to be scary.

And honestly, that was a game changer.

I had been so wrapped up in using my imagination to think up all the worst case scenarios that I hadn’t stopped to consider, ‘what if good things happen?’.

I know everyone’s experience is different, but none of those fears came true for me.

I mean, the sleep was rough for the first few weeks, not gonna lie.

But what I lost in quantity, I also gained in quality.

Because, real talk, pregnant women don’t get great sleep anyway.

And that phase didn’t last forever.

It turns out, I wasted a lot of time and energy worrying about the bad things that might happen, but didn’t.

I would have enjoyed my pregnancy so much more if I had focused on the good things that might happen.

And there are so many good things that have happened.

Expecting mommas, new mommas, if you’re stuck in worrying about the downsides, let’s talk.

Because while I’m never going to tell you that being a mom doesn’t have hard parts as well as the good parts, I don’t want you to only ever hear about the hard parts.

Let’s talk about both in my free group for new moms

www.facebook.com/groups/embraceforfirsttimemoms/

Group Program Pre-Launch

FUCK.

That was the first word out of my mouth when my sister suggested I might be pregnant.

I had called her because my dad passed away 2 weeks before. I was really bloated and I asked her if that could be a symptom of grief. She’s a nurse so she gets all of my weird body questions.

Being pregnant was the last thing on my mind. And the last thing I thought I needed.

I had started an amazing job in April. Closed on our first house in May. Reconnected with my biological father in June. And he passed 3 weeks later.

I was not okay.

The first few months were a blur.

I cried daily for weeks.

There were nights that I barely got out of the building after work before sobbing.

I wanted children, that wasn’t it.

It was not the right timing. It felt like too much. I was deeply grieving.

And honestly I just am a person who needs to feel in control to feel okay. None of this felt controlled at all.

I felt 0% excited until my anatomy scan. I am not exaggerating.

My primary emotions were fear, terror, anxiety…

I struggled through most of my pregnancy that way.

That was in 2018. Since then, I’ve given birth to my first tiny human and had the privilege of watching her grow into herself for 3.5 years.

I am now pregnant with #2 and my headspace is very different than it was then. This kiddo was planned, so that goes a long way.

But so much has happened in the last 4 years that I didn’t realize would be part of my motherhood journey.

I’ve learned tons about car seat safety, choking hazards, baby gear, and developmental milestones. But those are the kinds of things you know are going to come with the territory.

What I never saw coming was that becoming a parent would force me to examine my very identity. That I would have to learn about setting boundaries, again and again and again. That I would be parenting myself through the journey as well as my child. That I would be healing in so many ways.

It also turned out that there were parts of having a baby that I really really enjoyed. Things that I hadn’t even been able to consider when I was completely overwhelmed during my pregnancy.

My work now encompasses all of it.

My clients and I:

Build baby registries

Talk about how to choose a provider and a birth venue

Create a birth plan

Design a postpartum plan

Make a packing list for the birth

Plan the nursery and brainstorm babyproofing needs

But we also:

Discuss what boundaries actually are, how to hold them, and work through all the baggage that tends to come up with doing so

Set priorities so that you don’t get completely burned out

Talk about expectations, prepare for possibilities, and plan for what you desire

Work through fears and anxieties about parenting

Examine mom guilt and banish it

Make sure mom is taken care of so that baby can thrive

Celebrate and reinvent the human who is doing SO MUCH so that you don’t get lost or forgotten

Connect with the spiritual aspects of pregnancy and motherhood

That probably sounds like a lot. IT IS. And every new mom deserves to have high level support as she navigates all of it.

This is work that I’ve been doing in smaller pieces over the last few years and for the first time, I am offering a program that takes a new mom through all of it. From the intense emotions of the first trimester to the reckoning that is the fourth trimester.

I am so proud of what I’ve created and I cannot wait to share it with the women who need it.

I am launching New Beginnings, a container for new moms who want high level support, for pre-sale NOW!

The program is still in beta stage, meaning that I am still building the course content, but weekly group calls are included from the beginning.

The price is cut in half while I continue to build the modules. Membership lasts for a year.

If you are an expecting mom who wants to be held and supported through the next year, let’s talk.